“Poor people live in Brooklyn.”
Meanwhile, ass-eater Suketu Mehta waxes masturbatic about Brooklyn in The Great Awakening. According to him, “People are also moving to Brooklyn because – who in the 80′s could ever have guessed? – it has become so much safer.” Tell that to Linell Plair‘s kids.
I also love how he concludes that Brooklyn has finally made it because they have a successful costco. Costco – always the bulwark of a great community, I say!
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Comments
Jeez, what did that Mehta writer do to have you call him an ass eater? I read the article, I’ve been living in Brooklyn for 12 years and though I disagree with some of it I think it was right on. Are you just jealous because the New York Times didn’t ask you to write a piece on Brooklyn? Who’s the ass-eater now?
Didn’t read the article. Don’t need to. Am constantly reminded by everyone I know who lives in Brooklyn every chance they get how GREAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYTTTTTTTTTT (grating is more like it) it is and how JEALLLLLLOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUSSSSSSS I am not to live there. (See above: re: Alison Bass). Alison, I don’t know you, but I can tell you this: as a former seven-year resident of the GREATTTEEEESSSSTTTTTTT borough EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I will tell you why the last thing I am jealous of is your shitty borough: It sucks. Did you happen to read the title of this blog? From the bowels of Bay Ridge to the trust-fund nose-bleed sections of Brooklyn Heights, IT. SUCKS. I have never been mugged by a crackhead in any other borough other than Brooklyn. I’ve never fallen asleep to the sound of gunfire other than in Brooklyn, I’ve never had a black kid sitting on a tricycle throw cans at me and yell at me to “Go home, Snow White” other than in Brooklyn, I’ve never had illegal cock fighting rings be formed anywhere but right outside my window other than in Brooklyn. I’ve never had crack vials crunch under my feet other than in Brooklyn, I’ve never had apartment(s) structurally suck (and cost) more than in Brooklyn, I’ve never had the unearned arrogance of a clueless trust fund baby cut me off in the grocery line/bar/gallery/lame-ass, middle of nowhere party in someone’s structurally unsound, illegal-sublet Brooklyn apartment other than in Brooklyn, I’ve never had more arrogant, ignorant, hypocritical, myopic people tell me how great Brooklyn is other than in Brooklyn. Please leave this space at once and instead do what you most crave: drowning yourself in like minded, lock-step pod people at your Park Slope co-op coffee house surrounded by Sister-school educated stroller mommies in sexless marriages having their monthly global warming Meet Up discussion while their SUVs idle outside and their Jamaican/Filipina/Polish nannies (who get paid under the table and make $6 bucks an hour and haven’t personally seen their own children in years) manufacture a play date for all the afore-mentioned double-wide stroller mommies “precious” little obnoxious snotty tykes two feet away. This is all for the children, of course: Max, Madison, Ashley and Dakota will all grow up thinking Brooklyn is so great that they will inbreed into your ever-homogenized gene pool and thus may eventually kill off, or at least make even more retarded, the loathesome above-described type known as Stroller Mommy, hallelujah. Alison, we on this blog don’t like Brooklyn, because get this! It! Sucks!
[...] This comment was so great it deserves its own post. KillBillyburg, if you ever want to post for this site, feel free to let me know. I’d be happy to pass the torch, brother. Didn’t read the article. Don’t need to. Am constantly reminded by everyone I know who lives in Brooklyn every chance they get how GREAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYTTTTTTTTTT (grating is more like it) it is and how JEALLLLLLOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUSSSSSSS I am not to live there. (See above: re: Alison Bass). Alison, I don’t know you, but I can tell you this: as a former seven-year resident of the GREATTTEEEESSSSTTTTTTT borough EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I will tell you why the last thing I am jealous of is your shitty borough: It sucks. Did you happen to read the title of this blog? From the bowels of Bay Ridge to the trust-fund nose-bleed sections of Brooklyn Heights, IT. SUCKS. I have never been mugged by a crackhead in any other borough other than Brooklyn. I’ve never fallen asleep to the sound of gunfire other than in Brooklyn, I’ve never had a black kid sitting on a tricycle throw cans at me and yell at me to “Go home, Snow White” other than in Brooklyn, I’ve never had illegal cock fighting rings be formed anywhere but right outside my window other than in Brooklyn. I’ve never had crack vials crunch under my feet other than in Brooklyn, I’ve never had apartment(s) structurally suck (and cost) more than in Brooklyn, I’ve never had the unearned arrogance of a clueless trust fund baby cut me off in the grocery line/bar/gallery/lame-ass, middle of nowhere party in someone’s structurally unsound, illegal-sublet Brooklyn apartment other than in Brooklyn, I’ve never had more arrogant, ignorant, hypocritical, myopic people tell me how great Brooklyn is other than in Brooklyn. Please leave this space at once and instead do what you most crave: drowning yourself in like minded, lock-step pod people at your Park Slope co-op coffee house surrounded by Sister-school educated stroller mommies in sexless marriages having their monthly global warming Meet Up discussion while their SUVs idle outside and their Jamaican/Filipina/Polish nannies (who get paid under the table and make $6 bucks an hour and haven’t personally seen their own children in years) manufacture a play date for all the afore-mentioned double-wide stroller mommies “precious” little obnoxious snotty tykes two feet away. This is all for the children, of course: Max, Madison, Ashley and Dakota will all grow up thinking Brooklyn is so great that they will inbreed into your ever-homogenized gene pool and thus may eventually kill off, or at least make even more retarded, the loathesome above-described type known as Stroller Mommy, hallelujah. Alison, we on this blog don’t like Brooklyn, because get this! It! Sucks! Gregarious [...]
These last comments made my day, If my husband says one more time how much he loves brooklyn, I think i am going to throw myself in the lake in back of my house!
Hi,
I’m trying to figure out whether you really hate Brooklyn, or because you’re interested in the myth of Brooklyn as this kind of second-rate, chaotic hellhole that people live in because they can’t make it in Manhattan.
If it’s the latter, let me suggest a place that sucks more than Brooklyn: New Jersey (where I live). Couple of reasons: 1) No subway. 2) If you told people here that Costco can’t be the basis of a real community, they would have no idea what you mean. 3) To get anywhere interesting (New York or Philly) you have to wait in traffic for half an hour at least.
If it’s the former, show us your cards, BrooklynHater!